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Self Harm: A Spectacle of Beauty

Meet "AColdnessInMyHeart", the star of the most extreme self-harm blog that ever existed. This gets pretty disturbing... but there's something strangely pornographic about how she showcases her wet...

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The 18-Second Man

My first pay-to-play happened in a Burger King toilet stall. She was more Kurt Perry than Katy Perry, Kinda foul. Not even a triple replay of Heather Graham's bush in Boogie Nights changed the mood...

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So Bad He Had to Quit

Symptom #293 you need to put an end to the all-turnip and MDMA diet: You develop the sex drive of a cinder block followed by the kind of speech impediment that could end a marriage in Alabama. But...

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The True Face of Degeneracy

Listen up you cockeyed scumbag: There are places across the country designated for hucking ham sauce anywhere you please. So order up a caramel Frap, squeeze into the Starbucks handicap stall and join...

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The Show Must Go On

Playstation One-levels of animation and someones first experience with Windows Movie Maker goes horribly... right? In other words, I only ejaculated twice. And that's coming from a man whos seen Sarah...

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Making the Impossible Possible

So, who's really to blame here? The horse farm that secured their perimeter to keep her away from the livestock, or the guy with 4 Q's in his name that's keeping her on a 1-token drip for the past 4...

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Top 50 Sexiest Holocaust Victims

This might be the most fucked up shit I ever post... I bet you did nazi this coming... [wiki on film] [ article ] [ SONG]

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Friday Morning in California

Essentially this is a public service announcement on the cons and cons of touring San Fransisco. Some will live to tell the tale. Others will merge with Skid Row through osmosis. But all will learn the...

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I FUCKING HATE CUM! #5

Much like the Fast and Furious franchise, this series went from "what the fuck am I watching" to How do we get John Cena into one of these scenes? pretty damn quick. The tipping point involves Morgan...

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TWITCH STREAMER GOES IN

A League of Legends match resulting in something heterosexual? Why does she blow? Why doesn't he quit and return the favor? I haven't been this confused since making it to the end of Sleepaway Camp.

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Sexual Socialism

What's mine is yours. And what's yours makes her think walking away from a 4-year degree in anthropological gender studies to do this instead was a bad fucking idea.

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Yellow Dove

Hand's down the most offensive thing I've seen Asian women do (this week) since accidentally loading a buzzfeed article about New York City's dating scene. And much like that editorial, spending more...

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6 Amazing Sex Acts

Today's Special Menu: 1) Conner McGregor post-retirement 2) Ballin on a Budget 3) Hard Times Daddeh 4) The Mastadon Challenge 5) Contents Under Pressure 6) Always Get Your Moneys Worth

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Possible Incest but Fresh Ramen Noodles

Deep inside a dilapidated trailer decorated with street signs and rebel flags, a couple of questionable relations makes mouth coitus until something goes very wrong. This mishap, according to the...

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2019'S BEST OF THE BEST

Show me a woman that puts this much effort into her vadgevertising, and I'll show you the kind of divorced mother of 3 I want Dr. Phil to dedicate a 2-part episode to. Charging men today, Charging NYC...

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Orgasm Induced Seizures: A Rare Phenomenon

Internet webcam hooker Bella Alice appears to suffer from acute reflex seizures triggered by sexual climax. She also uses a sound activated dildo that vibrates when people tip her which is funny af....

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17 COCKS = REGRET

A Dwayne Johnson body massage, Discounted Rice-a-Roni and the Final Season of Game of Thrones: All things I'd willingly commit to before slapping a ring on Jasmine Bryne. Pay attention boys: One day it...

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The World's Most Offensive Fetishes

Pretty much the most perplexing acts of genital manipulation I've witnessed since marathoning all 47 volumes of SSBBW Ivy and Friends Videos. My voice matters today more than ever before.

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I Can't Breathe

Seriously, don't laugh at this. Even if your soul is more decayed than Robert De Niro's asshole after a spirited brunch at Del Taco, it should still tell you that giggle time is officially cancelled....

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Alpha Male Anal Assault

"Get ready for the big surprise" - Arnold Schwarzenegger, 1990

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